Top Best Funny Hindi Whatsapp and Facebook Status and Messages – Part 41

Best Punjabi Shayari Online

Feel free to use these Status for Facebook, WhatsApp & Other Social Sites

Wife to her husband: Suno, aate hue zara kitchen se namak lete aana.
Husband (kitchen se): Yahan to koi Namak nahi hai.
Wife: Mujhe pata tha, tum toh ho hi andhe, kaamchor kahin ke. Ek kaam dhang se nahi kar sakte, bas bahane banaate rehte ho, zindagi mein kuch to kaam karo. Mujhe pehle se hi pata tha ki tumhe nahin milega,
Isliye mein pehle hi le aayi thi.
Husband shocked!


Ek din khuda ne mujhse kaha: Mat karintezar is janam mein uska, Milna mushkil hai.
Maine bhi keh diya: Lene de maza intezar ka, agle janam mein to mumkin hai.

Phir khuda ne kaha: Mat kar itna pyar bahut pachhtayega.
Muskura ke maine kaha: Dekhte hain tu kitna mujhe tadpayega.

Phir khuda ne kaha: Bhool ja use, Chal tujhe jannat ki apsra se milata hoon.
Maine kaha: Aa neeche dekh mere pyar ka muskurata chehra, tujhe jannat ki apsra bhulwata hoon.

Gusse mein khuda ne kaha: Mat bhool apni aukaat tu to ek insaan hai.
Hans kar maine kaha: Toh mila de mujhe mere pyar se aur saabit kar ki tu hi Bhagwan hai.


Santa was caught by Mughal soldiers and they took him to their king Akbar.

Akbar: Kaun ho tum?
Santa: Jahanpanah, main Santa hun.

Akbar: Itni raat tum hamare mahal ke paas kya rahe the?
Santa, ghabraate hue: Ji.. main..vo.. kuchh nahin.. bas aise hi..

Akbar: Sipahiyon, isko bandi bana do..
Santa pleads: Nahin Jahanpanah, aisa mat kariye, please mujhe banda hi rehne do.


Wife: Khana kha liya?
Husband: Khana kha liya?

Wife: Batao na.
Husband: Batao na.

Wife: Please.. batao na.
Husband: Please…. batao na.

Wife: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?
Husband: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?

Wife: I Love U!!!
Husband: Haan yaar, khana kha liya maine..


Santa tez baarish mein doctor ke paas gaya

Santa: Doctor saab ghar par checkup ki kya fee hai?
Doctor 300/-
Santa: Phir jaldi chaliye doctor saab.
Doctor ne car nikali aur dono Santa ke ghar pahunch gaye.
Doctor: Mareez kahan hai?
Santa: Mareez-wareez koi nahi hai, mua taxy wala ghar tak jaane ke 500/- maang raha tha aap 300/- mein le aaye.
Santa Rocks!


Bank mein customer ne cheque dete hue poochha ki Madam yeh kitne dino mein clear ho jaayega

Madam: Kam se kam do-teen din lagenge.

Customer: Lekin madam itna time kyon lagega? Jis bank ka cheque maine diya hai woh to saamne waali duilding mein hi hai.

Madam (Bade hi shaant swar mein) : Sir main aapko kaise samjhun, procedure to follow karna hi padta hai na. Maan leejiye ki aap shamshaan ke saamne hi mar jaate hain to ghar waale aapki laash ko ghar le jaayenge ya wahin saamne nipta denge. Boliye?
Customer behosh!


5 year old boy :- I love u mom
Mom:- Aww! I Love u too….

16 year old boy:- I love u mom
Mom :- Sorry! I have no money..
.
.
25 year old boy:- I love u mom.
Mom:- Hmm.. kaun hai woh? kahan rehti hai?
.
.
Moral:- Maa sab jaanti hai
But the best is..
35 yr old man:- Mom I love you
Mom: Beta maine pehle hi bola tha uss kamini se shaadi mat karna

And the last one..
55 yr old man:- Mom I love you..
Mom:- Beta main kisi bhi paper par sign nahi karoongi..

5 year old boy :- I love u mom
Mom:- Aww! I Love u too….

16 year old boy:- I love u mom
Mom :- Sorry! I have no money..
.
.
25 year old boy:- I love u mom.
Mom:- Hmm.. kaun hai woh? kahan rehti hai?
.
.
Moral:- Maa sab jaanti hai
But the best is..
35 yr old man:- Mom I love you
Mom: Beta maine pehle hi bola tha uss kamini se shaadi mat karna

And the last one..
55 yr old man:- Mom I love you..
Mom:- Beta main kisi bhi paper par sign nahi karoongi..


Santa finds cigarette box in his daughters room..
Oh my god! she smikes

The he finds whisky
Oh my god! she drinks

Then he saw a boy
Thank God! its all his


Biwi: Zara kitchen se namak lete aana.
Bechara Pati: Yahan to namak nahi mil raha hai.
Biwi : Hey Bhagwan, mere baap ko tumhare jaisa hi Soordas milna tha.
Mujhe pata tha tum to ho hi andhe
Kaamchor ho..
Nikamme ho…
Gadhe ho…
Ek kaam dhang se nahi kar sakte
Bas bahaane banaate ho
Zindagi mein kuchh to kaam karo..
Tumhein nahi milega, isiliye pehle hi le aayi thi.


Gabbar: Aaj maine basanti ko nahaate waqt dekha.

Veeru: Kutte kameene main tera khoone pee jaaunga

Gabbar: Relax bewde.. Main naha raha tha aur basanti jaa rahi thi.. Jab dekho khoon pee jaaunga..


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